


If only I didn't

by obsessedoverseries



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 11:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3247559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessedoverseries/pseuds/obsessedoverseries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set some time after 4x11 and Ian's depression hasn't happened yet.<br/>Ian's feeling guilty about stupid things and thinks Mickey doesn't deserve him. He starts acting weird and Mickey won't have any of this bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If only I didn't

an rubbed his eyes in a thoughtful way. He felt like shit. It didn’t matter how much Lip would tell him otherwise, or how many times Fiona came to his side to tell him he needed to stop overthinking, he knew he was the worst. It pissed him off that his family could read him so easily, that they could see how guilty he felt, and that they were constantly trying to push him into believing it was nothing. It was something!!!

But what pissed him off above anything else, was the fact that Mickey went on like he didn’t even think of it.

Yeah, sure. He was punched almost to death by his stupid father, humiliated at his son’s baptism party, and fucking forced by Ian to tell every homophobic asshole in the Alibi that he was gay because he wasn’t sure enought about Mickey’s feelings. Nothing to worry about, nah. As far as Ian knew, Mickey shouldn't be all happy and horny and fucking acting like Ian wasn’t guilty for those scars all over his beautiful face.

Ian sat at the table, drinking his coffee a little too aggressively, burning every corner inside his mouth. At that moment, Mickey came down the stairs, yawning and wearing Ian’s boxers. “Mornin'” he said, heading straight to the kitchen table, pouring coffee into his mug. He sat next to his boyfriend, pressing their legs together. “Why you up so early?” he said when we was awake enough to speak.

“I’ll go for a run.” Ian said standing up and heading to the kitchen without looking at his boyfriend. Mickey made a face.

“You okay?” he said standing up with his coffee in his hand, and walking towards him, clearly knowing something was up.

“Yeah, sure.” Ian said with a tone in voice that stated quite the opposite . _Grate Ian, you are such a good liar_.

"You're a terrible liar, you know that?" Mickey echoed his thoughts.

He didn’t dare to look at him, he knew that if he looked into Mickey’s eyes, he would lost it and kiss him until their lips were dry . But Ian didn’t deserve Mickey’s mouth, not even his company. Damn, the only reason for Mickey to be at the Gallagher's was for his safety, which he wouldn’t need if it wasn’t for Ian’s pushiness.

"Hey fuckface! Stop staring at the couch and tell me what the fuck is wrong"

“I’m sorry Mick…” Ian said, trying to make an excuse to leave the house before Mickey could ask any more questions. “Have you seen my jacket?”

“I thought you were going to run.” Mickey said harshly, a little surprised by Ian’s question.

“Yeah, I am… but, it’s cold anyway.”

Mickey was confused, but he dropped it, he didn’t want to fight… Either way, Ian would tell him sooner or later, and now he was just too tired to fucking care. “No, I haven’t seen it.”

“Well, nevermind. I’ll do a warm up outside.” Ian said and left the house. He thought he should said something like “goodbye” or “I’ll be back in a few hours”, but when he realised, he was running faster than a bullet, almost three miles away from his porch.

________________

  


“Ugh! Do you ever leave this fucking house?” Lip said after finding Mickey the sofa watching the tv.

“I do. You’d actually know if you came here more than once a month.”

Lip sighed looking around the living room. “Ian here?”

“He left about an hour ago. Running” he answered trying not to be pissed about Lip’s existence. “He was all weird and shit, so I guess he won’t be back in a few more hours.” Mickey couldn’t hide the concern from his voice, but hopefully, Lip wouldn’t notice. If there was someone with whom he’d never let his emotions show, that was Lip.

“So he isn’t over it huh?” said the eldest Gallagher boy. Mickey’s eyes grew bigger.

“You know what’s wrong with him.” it wasn’t a question. Lip ignored him and walked towards the kitchen. Mickey followed staring at him inquisitively. Lip pretended to do the dishes for a few seconds but there were only a few forks in the sink, so he dropped the action in the middle and looked straight into Mickey’s expectant eyes, not saying a single word.

“Come the fuck on douchebag. You know what’s wrong with him. Fucking tell me.” he said rubbing his nose. Lip stared at him for a few more seconds and then sighted. He didn’t like the short brunette, but he was the only one who would make his brother come to senses.

“Ian thinks you should be mad at him.”

Mickey was taken aback. “The fuck?! That’s the stupidest shit i’ve ever heard.”

“Well, this is Ian we’re talking about” said Lip with a grin, but Mickey didn’t find it funny. “Look, we tried to tell him…”

“We?”

“Yeah, Fiona and I. We told him we could see he felt guilty for something but he wouldn't talk about it. But the other day he let out something about you being too good for him and not seeing he’s a jerk.” Lip was speaking with a low voice, Mickey was listening open-mouthed. Was Ian stupid enough to believe that?

“That makes no fucking sense!”

“Yeah. I mean, there’s no such thing as a Milkovich being too good for someone.” Lip dared to say, resulting in Mickey giving him a deathly glare.

“Watch it Gallagher” he said seriously, if Lip was trying to use this as a way to mock him, he should know it would not be for free. Lip walked past Mickey and sat at the kitchen table.

“You know...that’s all I know. But I bet it’s about your father...” Lip paused, waiting for a reaction from the brunette man, but he stayed poker-faced. “I think my brother’s scared about what could happen to you, what he could do to you.” this time Lip was serious, he even looked worried. He only cared about what Ian felt, he didn’t need that asshole’s pitty.

“Well… if you ever see him, tell him he’s an idiot. I say so.” he said leaving the house through the back door.

________________

  


Ian had been hoping that Mickey wasn’t at home all the way back, but as soon as he realized Mickey had left, he regretted his earlier hopes. Laying on his bed, throwing glares at the ceiling, Ian was wondering if Mickey had left for good, if he had realized how selfish Ian was, and if he was safer wherever he went. He was burying himself under the realization that he deliberated endangered his boyfriend for nothing, for not appreciating that what they had was already very special, without them needing Mickey to come out to enjoy it.

His thoughts were interrupted when someone smashed his door open.

“You are going to get the fuck up and tell me the fuck is wrong with you!” Mickey was standing where the door opened with a mad face, and Ian found it amazingly cute, so he had to suppress a smile. He sat up, avoiding Mickey’s eyes again, trying to focus on being mad at himself. After a few seconds, he spoke up “What are you doing here Mick?”

“What am I doing he…? Jesus Ian!” Mickey shouted “Well, I’ve been sleeping here for the last three fucking weeks, so unless you want me to fucking leave…”

“I don’t want you to leave” Ian interrupted. “God! You are the one who should be wanting to get the fuck away from me!” he was now looking at his boyfriend.

“That makes no fucking sense!”

“You know what doesn’t make sense?” said Ian standing up and walking slowly towards Mickey. “You wanting to be with me after I _forced_ you to say something you weren’t ready to admit.”

Mickey wanted to punch him in the face because damnit, he could be stupid when he wanted to, but he stayed silent, letting the redhead spit everything up.

“Mickey… I’m sorry, I’m such a selfish pig… I should have never ask you to come out like that. Goddamnit! I couldn’t see how special we already were!”

“Is _this_ what this is about?” Mickey said as if he couldn’t believe he made such a big deal out of nothing. It was the tone of his voice that made Ian snap.

“I put you in danger Mickey!” Ian stepped closer to him so their faces were just some inches away from each other, his eyes were opened in despair. “I… I should have known better. Your father… I’m so sorry he hit you so badly… It’s all my fault… If only I didn’t…”

And that was all he could say because Mickey crashed his mouth against his, locking their lips in a deep but sweet kiss. Ian was surprised, but only for an instant, then he let himself immerse in the kiss, in his boyfriend’s taste. Once they couldn’t get enough from that kiss and they were breathing heavily, Mickey broke the kiss apart and said “I don’t want you to ever feel guilty about any of this”

“But…”

“Never. My dad is a bitch, but I’m safe with you… Everything I said was for you, but also for me. Now stop overthinking and get on my pants!” he said with a big smile. Ian smiled back, his heartbeat was rising as he gazed into his boyfriend’s blue eyes. Mickey licked his lips at the sight of the redhead so close to him and immediately grabbed his face to kiss him with undying passion.


End file.
